Grand Lake Bum

Keep up with the events around the Grand Lake Community! Enjoy the Random Observations from The Grand Lake Bum.

Observations from The Grand Lake Bum

Random Observations from The Grand Lake Bum

The weekends just keep getting better and better on Grand Lake. It seems like the entertainment starts earlier every weekend on the lake. Last weekend, it was the big Cobalt owners raft-up.  My boat’s not a Cobalt, but they let everyone enjoy the great music in Ketchum Cove’s Splash Bash Alley.  Lots of fun.  This weekend, the music starts early again!  Lickitty Splitleven in the morning, in fact, for the big Boats, Bikes, Bikinis & Barbecue charity fundraiser at Arrowhead.  I love the music, but I must admit, I’m a little more curious about what kind of “talent” will be drawn to the $1,000 prize in the bikini contest.

As I wound down the Saturday night festivities enjoying the great music of Diversity at Island Joe’s before I finally consumed enough courage to join the karaoke fun at The Shebang’s Balcony Bar, an important question occurred to me:  If you don’t drink, how will your friends know you love them at 2:00 a.m.?


Your attention please – we have new royalty on Grand Lake! The new Miss Grand Lake, crownedSaturday night, is Gretchen Neftzger from Pryor.  The new carrier of the Grand Lake’s Outstanding Teen title is Bryce Bennett from Colcord.  Congratulations, ladies.  We look forward to your representation of our lake over the coming year!


Spelling errors are always embarrassing.  They’re even more embarrassing when they’re in a publication from an educational institution.  They’re even MORE embarrassing when it’s their own name that is misspelled.  That’s why I’m having too much fun with the fact that “Texas” is misspelled as “Texsa” in promotions for at the bottom of virtually every page of the University of Texas football media guide.  Someone was quick on their feet, snagging the misprinted version –  If you go to that website, it simply says “OU is better than Texas.  Learn to spell.”

Speaking of OU being better than Texas, did you see the Tulsa World (or feature over the past weekend about my pal Mark Oliver’s man cave?  It was a great story by my bud Jimmie Tramel, along with some really fun pictures of Mark’s Grand Lake “Party Barn.”  It seems like when reporters start trying to find the places that are the coolest and the most fun, they keep ending up at Grand Lake.  As the great J.B. Robison is famous for saying, “It’s fun bein’ me!”


A new study says one in every 25 people in New York City earns an annual salary of seven figures.  My friends are the same way, only you have to include the numbers on both sides of the decimal point.


I received an unsolicited e-mail this week with the subject line that read, “Ready for a Change?  Get Help with Alcoholism.”  I replied that I was doing just fine with my alcoholism on my own and needed no additional assistance.


In Ridgewood, New Jersey, crime still pays – but only half.  Seriously.  A former city official, Thomas Rica, pleaded guilty to stealing two million quarters from parking meters over a two year period.  In a plea bargain agreement, he’ll stay out of jail as long as he repays half of what he stole?  Half?  So, he gets to keep $250,000 of his ill-gotten gain… but I’m sure the judge also told him not to do it again, right?

I guess fighting obesity isn’t just for humans, anymore.  First came Pilates for dogs (“pawlates”), then Yoga (“doga”).  Now, we’ve hit the peak.  In Morristown, New Jersey, the Morris Animal Inn offers a five-day fitness camp for dogs ($249).  Organizers admit there are more overweight cats than dogs in America, but no one has yet developed the skill set to persuade a cat to go to the gym and work out.  Actually, as nearly as I can tell, no one has yet developed the skill set to persuade a cat to do anything!


If you’re looking for a tasty summer snack, you might take a look at Wal-Mart’s store brand Great Value Ice Cream Sandwiches.  They tend to stay together in the heat.  Really.  A Cincinnati TV station, acting on a tip from a concerned mother, tested her claim that the “ice cream” sandwiches didn’t melt in 12 hours of 80-degree heat.  Yep.  She was right.  I don’t know what keeps them from melting, but I’m pretty sure they shouldn’t be called “ice cream” sandwiches.


As the New York Post reported this week, it doesn’t matter if you are the Queen of Soul.  If you order your burger at Johnny Rockets “to go,” you damn well better go! It happened when Aretha Franklin ordered the burger in at  Johnny Rockets Restaurant in Lewiston, New York.  When she got her food after performing at a sold-out show, she decided to sit down to eat it.  An employee began screaming at her, telling her she was not allowed to sit down and eat her food, because she had ordered it “to go.”  The owner of the franchise says he has “clarified the company policy” to a “very new, very young” employee.  But, as far as I know, at least he’s not yet a “former” employee.  The Queen finished her burger, by the way.


BEST SIGN OF THE WEEK seen in the front window of a bar & grill:  “Men’s Daycare Center.  Leave your husbands here.  We will take care of them.  You only pay for their drinks.”


GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS:  I can’t believe I missed two big birthdays last week for some great friends.  Brenda Howerton hit a milestone marker ending with a zero on Sunday, and my ol’ pal Jerry Hefner hit 65 last week. I might have missed his birthday mention, but I sure didn’t miss his whiz-bang birthday party hosted by Sandy Garrett at Island Joe’s Friday night! Additionally, happy birthday wishes go out this week to Tom Benton, J.B. Robison, Kane Russell, Kirk Woford, Kenny Smith, John McCharen, Amy Regan, Tammy Botts, Paula Harbuck, Mark Paden – and the Artichoke Restaurant which turns 10 years old this week.


UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?


BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Thursday evening is the Grove Area Chamber of Commerce Annual Banquet, 6:00 p.m. at Grand Lakeside. Saturday from 11-4 is the big Boats, Bikes, Bikinis & BBQ fundraising event at Arrowhead Yacht Club. The PGA Senior Professional National Championship Qualifying Tournament runs Sunday-Tuesday and the  Oklahoma Golf Association Stroke Play Tournament is set Monday-Wednesday, both at Shangri-La Golf Club.


GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: It’s another great weekend of live musical entertainment upcoming on Grand Lake.  On South Grand, the fun starts Friday night, with The Wesley Michael Hayes Band performing at Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina. Sharky’s also has live entertainment Saturday night with popular Fishbone Gypsy on the Shark stage.

At Ugly’s Grill & Bar at Thunder Bay Marina, Friday night is “Float n’ Flick” night with a boat-in movie at the Ship Store docks.  Saturday night, live music is offered by Audio Crush.

Saturday’s South Grand musical entertainment actually begins at 11:00 a.m. with Lickitty Splitperforming 11-4 at the Boats, Bikes, Bikinis & BBQ event at Arrowhead Yacht Club.

On Monkey Island, there’s a great weekend of live entertainment – and it begins Friday night at Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina with Paseo Street Walkers kicking the weekend off and popular Big Smitty taking over the stage Saturday night, both at 8:30. Sunday afternoon, Randy Lunsford wraps up the weekend with relaxing music from 4-7 at Island Joe’s.

There’s also Saturday evening music at The Landings Marina where Patti Nicolette Johnson will perform 6-9 p.m.  That should be fun for people who were around Shangri-La back in the day. She sang with the Forrest Wasson Orchestra. 

At The Shebang, YOU are the entertainment, with Friday & Saturday karaoke fun on the Balcony Bar; and there’s always terrific weekend music and dancing with D.J. entertainment at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, Monkey Island Pub, and the Road Hog Saloon.

Area casinos have great musical offerings this week, too.  The great music begins Thursday night at Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar with a FREE Dirt Road Live Concert featuring the incredible Cowboy Troy. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, The Sex will entertain both Friday and Saturday nights.

Four nights of weekend music start Wednesday with a performance by Darren Ray at Indigo Sky Casino’s Echo Bar. Thursday night, it’s the music of Sound of Country.

The best spots to catch the weekend’s televised sporting events are Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina, the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club, Aqua Bar & Grill at The Landings Marina, and JJ’s Wing ‘N’ It in Grove.  Enjoy!


BUM MUST-SEE TV: Taxi Brooklyn (new series) Wednesday nights at 9:00 on NBC.


BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Lucy, Boyhood and Get On Up


QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Unfortunately, we live in a world where saying ‘children should not be killed’ can lead to a bitter argument .”  -- Andy Borowitz


SAVE THE DATE:  Saturday, August 9 – Pancake Fundraising Breakfast for Monkey Island Tornado Sirens (Shebang) from 7:00-10:00 a.m. and the Great Bobber Drop on Grand Lake (8:00 a.m.-ish).Monday, August 11 – Grand Lady Golf Tournament at Shangri-La Golf Club. Tuesday-Wednesday, August 19-20 – Women’s Oklahoma Golf Association Partnership Championship Tournament at Shangri-La. Friday, August 22 – Mary Moore Charity Golf Tournament & Auction at Shangri-La.Friday, August 22 – Lynyrd Skynyrd in concert at The Venue at Downstream Casino.

In the TV sports world, PGA action is up and running on two fronts  – Akron, Ohio and Reno, Nevada.  Tiger Woods will be on hand to defend his title in the World Golf Championships Bridgestone Invitational at Firestone Country Club. Coverage starts at 12:30 Thursday & Friday, and 11:00 a.m. Saturday & Sunday on the Golf Channel.  CBS has the final two rounds Saturday and Sunday afternoons at 1:00.  The Barracuda Open is also on the PGA schedule this week.  Coverage is on the Golf Channel at 5:30 Thursday-Saturday and at 6:00 p.m. Sunday.

NASCAR action is on ESPN this week.  Coverage of the 400 at the Brickyard begins Sunday at noon… or, I guess you could just “go bowling.”

There’s great baseball action on the tube Sunday and Monday nights, too.  The Yankees are in Boston to face the Red Sox Sunday on ESPN at 7:00, and the Yankees host the Detroit Tigers Monday night at 6:00, also on ESPN.


It looks like we’re going to kick off the month of August with picture perfect weekend weather – highs in the mid-to-upper 80s, sunshine, light breeze.  Perfect for the pre-football, pre-school party time on Grand Lake. Enjoy it to the max!  Remember, though --  wherever you decided to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me.



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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lakearea?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at GrandLake.


American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chicken Coop in Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Grand Lake Burrito in Ketchum

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lake Side Restaurant & Bar at Sailboat Bridge (formerly Royal Bay)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Iron Frog (Grove)

Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)

J.J.’s Wing ‘N’ It in Downtown Grove

J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)

Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)

Kelly’s Bar & Deli at Red Arrow Marina

La Casita de Martin in Grove

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Napoli’s Italian Restaurant (locations in Grove and Langley)

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Ozzie's on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Pattie’s Place Family Steakhouse at South Wind Marina in Bernice

Pensacola Pizza & Pasta in Langley  (smoking on patio only)

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summerside Winery in Vinita

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Trail’s End Barbecue in Grove

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)

Your Place (Grove Main Street)