It finally happened. We jammed so many events into the same Grand Lake weekend that I couldn’t even make it to half of them. We had absolutely fabulous weather for the Grand Christmas weekend and the lake was packed! I didn’t plan properly – again. I stayed at Monkey Island Pub way too late Thursday night to be rested up for the big Captain’s Bash at Cherokee Yacht Club Friday night, before stumbling into line at the Christmas Boat Parade Saturday afternoon. I don’t know how long that fabulous parade was, but I put 4 hours on my boat! I’m not sure what time I wrapped up the evening at the Monkey Island Christmas at Big Shots that same night, but I do remember Manny yelling “Last Call.” Whew! I spent the entire morning on Sunday trying to locate stuff I had left at the bar the night before. That took so long I barely made it to Shebang’s Sunday Brunch before dinner time! It’s not easy being me.
By all accounts, the spring-like weather over the weekend made every lake event a near record-breaking event. The only thing I questioned was the Polar Bear Plunge at Arrowhead Yacht Club. I really think they should have postponed that event due to the weather. How much courage does it take to jump in the water when it’s 65 degrees outside?
Saturday wasn’t just a big day at Grand Lake. It was a big day everywhere as people celebrated the sequential numbering of the date: 12-13-14. We haven’t had a day that numerically important since we threw a birthday party for Larry Duke a couple of years ago on 12-12-12. People were lined up for blocks in Las Vegas Saturday, trying to get married on the historic date (probably so the guys could remember their wedding anniversary date in the future). It was a big deal. Our next chance at such a sequential date is twenty years away: 1-2-34. See? And you thought you would never learn anything by reading this column!
I guess there really is “someone for everyone.” With all the specialized computer dating and match-making services, everyone has an ability to find someone who shares their interests – at least NOW they do. The newest match-making site was started by Carla Valentine. It’s for people who work in the “death” business – morticians, cemetery workers, embalmers, taxidermists, etc. – people whose outlook might be a little askew of the norm. It is appropriately named: “Dead Meet.”
In Silver City, New Mexico, two guys were arrested for breaking into Javalina Coffee House, tying an ATM machine to their truck and dragging it away. Astute detectives found the guys by following the gouge marks in the street all the way from the coffee house to their home. You still can’t fix stupid!
We have all grown accustomed to reacting to pictures. We buy merchandise on line. We select boats from brochures. We pick clothes from catalogs. A guy in Bar Hill, England took the concept a little too far, though, when he tried to rob a store by threatening employees with a photograph of a gun. They weren’t scared. He was arrested…and laughed at a lot.
I got one of those automated telephone systems when I called a business the other day. The mechanical operator urged me to “dial the number of your selected extension, followed by a pound sign.” Don’t we need to update those high-tech phone systems? No one has “dialed” a number in years. And shouldn’t the “pound sign” be changed to “followed by a hash tag?” Shoot, I remember even before hash tags were pound signs. I remember when that used to be the “number sign.” It looks like someone should be able to think up a new sign instead of just continually changing the meaning of signs we already have.
It wasn’t pretty, but Congress managed to load enough pork barrel and special favors to pass a Continuing Resolution to keep the lights on in Washington, D.C. for another year. My pal Andy Borowitz described it best: “The budget deal is proof that if our two parties put aside their differences and work together, they can come up with a horrible monstrosity that everybody hates.”
GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: I can’t believe I missed a mention of my pal Doug Smith’s birthday last week. I didn’t miss his birthday – just the mention of it. Grand Lake is lucky to have him as County Commissioner. Grand Lake Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Terry Graham, Katie Carmical, Don Cohen, Tina Blackman, Casey Musgrove, Casey Davis, Tiffany Green, and Jessica Graham. Congratulations to Travis & Brandi Gatzmeyer for their winning entry in the Christmas Lights Boat Parade. There’s was Forever Young, the Carver 405 decorated like a big train – The Polar Express. Second place went to Jimmy Young and Stephanie Locke, The Big Bobber. Third place winners were Larry Warwick and Judy Calico with “The Porpoise of Christmas.” The special “under 35-foot” category was won by the feisty two-boat entry from Eric Alton – Snoopy and the Red Baron, with an entertaining dog fight throughout the parade route. Congrats to all! Here’s a special shout-out to Mitch and Glenna Whitehead at Sail Grand at Shangri-La Marina. The parasailing Santa was a fabulous way to kick of the Christmas Boat Parade festivities. Thanks.
UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: When dogs are out running through the neighborhood, do they slow down when they see a police dog?
BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Be sure to have your TV tuned to KTUL, Tulsa’s Channel 8 at 11:30 Saturday morning. They’re showing Grand Lake’s Christmas Boat Parade. If you miss it, you can tune in to Joplin’s KSN Sunday at 5:00. They’re televising it, too. Folks in OKC can tune in on KSBI Sunday at 9:30 a.m. to catch the same show. Sunday Brunch with Santa (photo ops, too) at the Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La Sunday 10:00-3:00. Sunday Brunch at The Shebang 10:00-2:00.
GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: The weekend entertainment outlook is good once again. Buffalo Run will have music from Oklaholics Friday night, followed by The Sex on stage Saturday night in the Trailer Park Bar & Grill. Downstream Casino has a variety of musical entertainment options – Kenny Babb at the piano both Friday and Saturdaynights in Lovers Leap Lounge; and Retrorockerz Friday night followed by Fun House Saturday night in Legends Sports Bar. The weekend entertainment begins Wednesday night at Indigo Sky Casino’s Echo Bar with Travis Kidd, followed by a Thursdaynight performance by Dewayne Bowman. Sweet Trouble wraps up the weekend with a two-night stand, performing both Friday andSaturday nights.
On Monkey Island, Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, Monkey Island Pub, and Road Hog Saloon always have the music cranked up and the dance floors open. If you’re on the south end of the lake, try the always great entertainment at Pickles at the Lake; and if you’re in the Grove area, there’s always great music and entertainment at J.R. Spanky’s on Highway 10.
The best spots to catch college bowl games, as well as NFL, NBA, and NHL action are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club, Pickles at the Lake in Langley, J.R. Spanky’s and JJ’s Wing ‘N’ It in Grove. Enjoy!
BUM MUST-SEE TV: The last show of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central at 10:30 Thursday, December 18. Marco Polo, all episodes now available on Netflix.
BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb and Annie
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”– Will Rogers
SAVE THE DATE: Wednesday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve with Pauly Shore at Buffalo Run Casino’s Indoor Peoria Showplace. Wednesday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve Party at Big Shots on Monkey Island (Papa Duke’s breakfast pizza aftermidnight). Wednesday, December 31 – Masquerade Ball at Monkey Island Pub. Saturday, January 10 – The Swon Brothers in concert with special guest Granger Smith at Downstream Casino’s Venue.
It’s time for college football bowls, although there are admittedly not many really good ones this week. At any rate, here’s the schedule if you’re addicted: Saturday’s games include the new Orleans Bowl (Nevada vs. Louisiana-Lafayette) at 10:00 on ESPN, the New Mexico Bowl (Utah State vs. UTEP) at 1:20 on ESPN, the Las Vegas Bowl (Utah vs. Colorado State) at 2:30 on ABC, the Idaho Potato Bowl (Western Michigan vs. Air Force) at4:45 on ESPN, and the Cammellia Bowl (South Alabama vs. Bowling Green) at 8:15 on ESPN.
College basketball has a full schedule, with OU playing MichitganSaturday night at 8:00 (ESPNU) and Oklahoma State hosting Maryland on Sunday (1:00 on ESPNU). Connecticut and Duke kick off the week’s basketball action Thursday night (7:00 on ESPN). Friday night St. Mary’s plays St. John’s (6:00) and UTEP hosts Arizona (10:00), both on Fox Sports 1. Saturday’s big games include North Carolina vs. Ohio State (12:00 on CBS), Syracuse at Villanova (12:00 on Fox), Missouri vs. Illinois (1:00 on ESPN2), UCLA vs. Kentucky (2:30 on CBS), Texas A&M vs. Kansas State (6:00 on ESPN), and West Virginia at North Carolina State (8:30 on ESPN2).
There’s plenty of NFL action, including a couple of rare Saturdaygames. Thursday night’s game features Tennessee at Jacksonville (7:30 on NFL). Saturday TV games are Philadelphia at Washington (3:30 on NFL) and San Diego at San Francisco (7:30on CBS). Sunday’s biggies for folks in this area include Kansas City at Pittsburgh (noon on CBS) and Indianapolis at Dallas (3:30on CBS). Sunday night’s feature putts Seattle at Arizona (7:30 on NBC) and Monday Night Football sends Denver to Cincinnati (7:30 on ESPN).
In the NBA, there’s plenty of OKC Thunder basketball include two nationally televised games – at Golden State Thursday (9:30on TNT) and Friday night at the Los Angeles Lakers (9:30 on ESPN). Sunday night, the Thunder are back home seeking revenge against the Pelicans (6:00 on Fox Sports Oklahoma) before hosting the Trailblazers Tuesday night (7:00 on Fox Sports Oklahoma). Other great NBA games on the tube this week include New York at Chicago (Thursday at 7:00 on TNT) and Portland at San Antonio (Friday at 7:00 on ESPN).
PGA play is over for 2014. The players are off for the holidays before returning to the course in Hawaii January 9 for the Hyundai Tournament of Champions to kick off the 2015 season.
I guess our picture-perfect pre-Christmas weekend weather was the weekend gone by – not the one ahead. With lows below freezing, a chance of a little precipitation, and highs hovering around 40 degrees make for a good weekend ahead for indoor activities. Pick a party spot and pick your partner. Everybody’s in the party mood. There should be lots of fun (and a couple of greatSunday brunches) this weekend. Be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday &Saturday nights)
Book ‘ems at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chicken Coop in Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Grand Lake Burrito in Ketchum
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Iron Frog (Grove)
Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
J.J.’s Wing ‘N’ It in Downtown Grove
J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)
Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
Kelly’s Bar & Deli at Red Arrow Marina
La Casita de Martin in Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Napoli’s Italian Restaurant (Langley)
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Book ‘ems Restaurant & Pub at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Pensacola Pizza & Pasta in Langley (smoking on patio only)
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summerside Winery in Vinita
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Trail’s End Barbecue in Grove
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)