If you weren’t around the Grand Lake area over the past weekend, you missed a stellar time! The weather was absolutely perfect on Saturday…and nice on Sunday, too, until the clouds moved in a cooled it down a little. Didn’t slow down the fun, though! Saturday night I had a real treat. The talented bunch of musicians called “The Ol’ Bulldog Band” (because they all graduated from Edmond High School back in the stone age), showed up to play a benefit show at Big Shots for the Monkey Island Pedestrian/Cart Trail. It must be an age thing. Those guys played every song I love. I think I knew the words to ever song they played. Great night. Great crowd – and an incredibly successful event, raising over $4,000 for extension of the Island Trail project. Partying our butts off for a great cause. It’s the Grand Lake way!
Help Wanted – good pay, benefits, expense account, retirement plan. It’s time again to elect public officials in Oklahoma. You can file your job application with the Oklahoma State Election Board this week for the following jobs: Governor, Lt. Governor, Attorney General, Auditor & Inspector, Insurance Commissioner, Corporation Commissioner, State Treasurer, State Superintendent of Public Instruction, Labor Commissioner, two U.S. Senate seats, 5 congressional seats, half the Oklahoma State Senate seats, all 101 State Representative seats.
Other job openings – CBS is looking for a late night replacement for David Letterman, the University of Tulsa is looking for a replacement for basketball coach Danny Manning, and Vladimir Putin’s divorce is final, so the Russian president is on the prowl for a new wife. Sure hope the interviewers don’t get the job openings mixed up.
The Supreme Court is at it again. There were about 600 rich people in the country who wanted to contribute more total money than allowed during a political campaign season. So, the Supreme Court says they can contribute as much as they want. It’s a great blow for efficiency in government, probably. Before long we’ll have the best government money can buy!
It is possible to make money off of government, even if you’re not an employee, an elected official or a contractor. The IRS says it paid $53 last year to 122 people who turned in tax cheaters. That’s about $450,000 each! I got real excited, because I figured I could turn in a bunch of the guys I run around with. Not so fast, though… the IRS says they only pay if they collect more than $2 million from the cheaters. That lets out all my pals. Dang it. Another get-rich-quick scheme gone bad.
Be careful how you pose for pictures. A Bradenton, Florida thief has done pretty well telling clerks he and his buddy have a disagreement about the new $50 bill and asking them to hold one up so he can get a picture. Then he snatches the bills and takes off. They’ll probably find him before long. Not many guys pay for everything with fifty dollar bills. By the way, one of my buddies and I have been having a disagreement over $100 bills. Could you….?
By the way, my dear bozos, although I write some strange stuff in this column, I try not to write about things that are absolutely out-of-sight crazy hoaxes. That’s why I’m not writing anything about the wild animals fleeing from Yellowstone because of a predicted supervolcano eruption. Geez. The animals were running in that video because….well, because animals like to run sometimes. (BTW, they were running toward the park, not away from it, according to the guy who actually shot the video.) But… weren’t those few days of total fear and anxiety fun for everybody?
Best “double meaning” headline seen this week. It was in the Voice of America: “U.S. and Pakistan View Drone Strikes from Different Perspectives.” Hahaha. No kidding!
What’s in a name? A couple of twenty-somethings were arrested in Minot, North Dakota for taking over a restroom in a convenience store, locking other patrons out, and engaging in what the manager called “noisy sex.” The store was one of the convenience chain called “Kum & Go.” I have no comment.
Your tax dollars at work? New Jersey Congressman Robert Andrews is retiring after 23 years in Congress. The best I can give him is an “A” for effort. He introduced 646 pieces of legislation. Not a single of them became law. The Washington Post honored him as “the least successful lawmaker of the past two decades.” Nice epitaph. Sounds like something I might use later myself!
Some people are just not cut out for a life of crime. Colton Green, for example, who was arrested in Decatur, Illinois for robbing a Circle K store. As it turns out, he was on probation and wearing an ankle bracelet with a GPS device, which put him in the exact spot of the robbery at the exact moment of the crime. Oops.
My friend Finnefrock shared some important new findings with me this week. A new study indicates women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Another new study shows that “the growing trend of taking smart phone ‘selfies’ is linked to narcissism and mental health conditions that focus on a person’s obsession with looks.” Shocker, huh?
GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Pat Sheeler, Peggy Howard, Jerry Cookson, Jack Moore, Tripp Markwell, Doug Frans, Ron Lay, Vicki Howard, Debbie Littlefield, Tim Howson, and Dave Svedman.
UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: The Grove Merchants Spring Open House and Shopping Eggstravaganza is this weekend, and there’s a great show at The Coleman Theatre in Miami Friday night at 7:30: “Baby Boomers Comedy Show” with Kent Rader and Jan McInnis.
BEST LIVE ENTERTAINMENT OF THE WEEK: The live music starts on Wednesday this week in theGrand Lake area with The Pearson Brothers Duo performing at 7:00 in Indigo Sky Casino’s Echo Bar. Friday night, Uncrowned Kings take over the stage at Echo, followed by a Saturday night performance by the popular Beer & Chicken Band.
The great Sammy Kershaw takes the midweek stage on Grand with a Thursday night show at 7:00 at Buffalo Run Casino’s Indoor Peoria Showplace. Inside Buffalo Run, Project Soul will perform bothFriday and Saturday night at the Trailer Park Bar & Grill. There’s more great music at Downstream Casino, too, with Elvis T. Busboy and the Texas Blues Butchers in the Legend Sports Bar both Fridayand Saturday nights.
On South Grand Lake, the great Don White entertains Friday night at Pickles at the Lake in Langley, followed by Whiskey Poet Society on Saturday night.
On Monkey Island, there’s always great weekend music and dancing entertainment on Monkey Island at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, Monkey Island Pub, and the Road Hog Saloon.
Best spots to catch The Masters Golf Tournament, Saturday night NASCAR action, and Sunday’s Thunder/Pacers NBA game are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Island Joe’s at Shangri-La Marina, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club, Aqua Bar & Grill at The Landings Marina, and JJ’s Wing ‘N’ It in Grove. Enjoy!
BUM MUST-SEE TV: Mad Men, final season premier Sunday at 9:00 on AMC
BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Draft Day and The Grand Budapest Hotel
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Officials in Finland say the Russian Army is conducting drills on its border. Or, as Vladimur Putin calls it, ‘window shopping’.” – Jimmy Fallon
SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, April 17 – “Half-Price Initiation Fee New Member Sign-Up Day at Shangri-La. Friday, April 18 – Wild Hare Party adult Easter party at Big Shots (a costume party tribute to Hugh Hefner & the “Bunnies.”) Saturday, April 19 – Celebrity Costume Party at Monkey Island Pub. Saturday, April 19 – Bill Engvall at Downstream Casino for two shows. Sunday, April 20 – EasterSunday! Saturday, May 3 – Cinco de Mayo Party and dinner at Shangri-La’s Summit Restaurant 5:00-9:00 p.m. Friday, May 9 – Paula Deen/Jimmy Houston Charity Dinner Auction at Downstream Casino’s Pavilion. Saturday, May 10 – Air Supply in concert at Downstream Casino.
With no more college basketball this weekend, the world’s sports attention will be focused elsewhere – primarily on the Masters Tournament. Play officially gets underway Thursday in the biggest golf tournament of them all. Live coverage begins at 2:00 Thursday & Friday on ESPN, 2:00 Saturday and 1:00 Sunday on CBS.
In the NBA, the OKC Thunder is hard at work. After a mid-week California trip (Kings on Tuesday, Clippers Wednesday), the Thunder return home Friday night to host the New Orleans Pelicans (7:00on FSN) before hosting the high flying Indiana Pacers at noon Sunday in a nationally televised game (ABC). Monday night, they have a rematch with the Pelicans in New Orleans. Other great NBA games this week include Thursday night bouts freaturing the Spurs at Mavericks (7:00) and Nuggets at Warriors (9:30), both on TNT.
If you’re looking for a little major league baseball red meat, the Yankees host the Red Sox Saturdaynight at 7:00 (ESPN) and the Phillies host the Braves Monday night (6:00 on ESPN).
The NASCAR action moves to prime time Saturday night this week, live from Darlington with the Bojangles Southern 500 at 5:30 on Fox.
The kind of weekend weather we like is just ahead, with forecast high temperatures in the 70s with sunshine. Little breezy, perhaps – and maybe some rain on Sunday as we wrap up Masters weekend. It’s a good weekend to see how many Grand Lake hot spots you can hit. But, wherever you go, remember to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chicken Coop in Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Grand Lake Burrito in Ketchum
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lake Side Restaurant & Bar at Sailboat Bridge (formerly Royal Bay)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Iron Frog (Grove)
Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
J.J.’s Wing ‘N’ It in Downtown Grove
J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)
Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Napoli’s Italian Restaurant (locations in Grove and Langley)
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Ozzie's on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Pattie’s Place Family Steakhouse at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Pensacola Pizza & Pasta in Langley (smoking on patio only)
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summerside Winery in Vinita
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Trail’s End Barbecue in Grove
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)
Your Place (Grove Main Street)