What a great weekend gone by. I went to my first movie premiere – the sold-out premiere of Martha Betterfield’s Sweet Southern Attitude, followed by the after party at Big Shots. What a fun movie! What a cast! And what a party! Congratulations to writer/producer/star and Grand Laker Josh Goff and his cast & crew for a lot of fun. Due to the sell-out, there will be an encore showing of the movie this Friday night at the Grove Cinema 6. If you weren’t lucky enough to get tickets last week, you have another shot Friday night. Saturday was raft-up day and I stuck it out until after dark to watch the incredible full moon Supermoon. It was the perfect preparation for the Labor Day weekend ahead.
Speaking of Labor Day, the Grand Lake Bum Holiday Lake Rules are in effect for the weekend: no puking, no fighting, no politics, no religion, no bragging about how much money you (or your daddy) have, no hitting on someone else’s date, no shooting at beer bottles off your dock (although that hasn’t happened too often…but, still), and no bitching about slow service. If you guys would come to the lake more often than three times a year, businesses might be able to gear up to give you the kind of service you get in OKC, Tulsa, or Wichita. Plus, half the wait staffs around the lake quit so they can play with you this weekend before they go back to school. Be patient, and remember to tip well. Take good care of the people who are working their butts off so you can play!
PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SYNDROME: Have you heard of Dan Loeb? He’s a big hedge fund manager who has made the news twice in recent weeks – first when he chastised Hillary Clinton for staying with Bill, whom he called a “liar and a cheat” for having an extra-marital affair – and second when Loeb’s name was discovered on the account list from Ashley Madison. He quickly deleted his post about Hillary & Bill and, of course, said he was only on the Ashley Madison website because he was “endlessly curious.” I never heard it called that before.
Pandering politicians are rolling into the election cycle trying to bait suckers with claims that the United States has the highest taxes in the world. Oops. Far from it. The World Bank rates taxes of 115 countries as a percentage of GDP. The United States ranked 12th from the bottom in taxes. If you’d rather go by “taxes paid per capita,” the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development ranks advanced industrialized countries. Out of 29 countries included, the U.S. ranked 16th in per capita taxation. I don’t know why I’m sticking all these facts in here. Just don’t like liars, I guess.
In case you are hoping to raise some boat money by falling for that current internet rumor about being able to sell a testicle to a medical school for $35,000 – it’s not true. Something called the National Organ Transplant Act of 1984 makes it illegal to sell or buy body parts. Ladies can sell eggs. Gentlemen can sell sperm – but you can’t sell the containers they come in. Sorry.
Roadsnacks.net has combined scientific research with personal observations to compile a list of the “Ten Most Redneck Cities in Oklahoma.” Congratulations, Grove. You’re #7. The website says Grove ranks #2 in the state in “Wal-Mart shoppers per capita” and ranks 5th in the number of bait/fishing shops per capita. Criteria included the number of mobile home parks per capita, number of tobacco stores/smoke shops, number of guns & ammo stores, and number of available Wal-Marts and Dollar General Stores nearby. Pauls Valley ranked #1. I’m sure Grove will do everything possible to move up the list next year. Let’s go, Grove!
With college football getting underway this week, I would be remiss if I didn’t share the list of “The Most Arrested Teams in College Football.” Surprisingly, Washington State tops the list with 31 arrests over the last five years. Following them, the top five are rounded out by Florida, Georgia, Texas A&M, and OU. Iowa State, Ole Miss, Missouri and West Virginia all tied for 6th place on the list. Oklahoma State and Arkansas were tied for 19th.
BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: “I figured out what Donald Trump is. He’s an internet comments section come to life.”
BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK – at Acton Animal Hospital in Granbury, Texas: “Your pets will love us – I Shihtzu not!”
It was sure great to see former Oklahoma Governor and First Lady George & Donna Nigh back at Grand Lake for the week last week. Those two are the best!
GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week Cathy Storey, Sally Cole, Emily Baggett, Bob Prine, Kate Lindley, Pat Dunn, Marilyn Mlnarik, Mike Magoulas, Stephanie Hollingshead, Randy Phillips, Nancy Castellucci, and Kim Quillin.
UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Jana Jae’s Fiddle Camp & Music Festival is Friday & Saturday – fiddle workshops during the day (10-4) at the Grove Civic Center, and live entertainment and available food at Snider’s Campgrounds Friday & Saturday nights. The Redneck Yacht Club Raft-Up party is Saturday afternoon in the tail waters of Duck Creek (1-6) – and the Woodard Hollow Raft-Up party is Sunday afternoon (3-6). Live music at both events. If those events are too gentle for you, there’s a bull buck-off at J.R. Spanky’s Event Center northeast of Grove Saturday night at 7:30. Enjoy.
GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There is a variety of absolutely fantastic entertainment options around the lake area this weekend with some really great choices on Monkey Island. The Mason Dixon Band entertains at Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina Friday night, with Diversity taking the stage Saturday night, and T-Bird performing Sunday night. Monday afternoon features the gentle music of Blackburn & Yeubanks wrapping up the holiday weekend. Randy Lunsfordentertains Thursday, Friday & Saturday evenings at The Shebang – plus, there’s karaoke on the Balcony Bar at The Shebang Friday,Saturday and Sunday nights. Big Shots Rhythm & Booze features a great DJ with dance music Friday, Saturday & Sunday nights; and there’s also always great dance music just down the road at Monkey Island Pub and Road Hog Saloon. Sunday afternoon in Woodard Hollow is sure to be a huge raft-up party, and there’ll be great live music wafting across the water from Dr. Doug Cox’s dock in Governor’s Retreat from 3-6.
On South Grand Lake, Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina features music from Kinsey Sadler on Friday night and Too Mothers Lefton Saturday night. Saturday afternoon, the annual Redneck Yacht Club Raft-Up Party in the tailwaters of Duck Creek will feature live music from 1-6 from Lickitty Split and The George Brothers. Harbors View Marina will host a special appearance by Elvis tribute artist Brent Giddens at their “fajita night” Saturday evening beginning at 6:00. Thomas Martinez will be on stage Saturday night at Ugly’s Grill & Bar at Thunder Bay Marina. There’s always great music, as well, at Scooters and Pickles at the Lake, both in Langley.
If you’re in the Grove area, the Osage Stomp String Band will be among featured entertainers at Jana Jae’s Music Festival at Snider’s Campground both Friday & Saturday nights; and there’s always a great band both Friday & Saturday nights, at J.R. Spanky’s (Highway 10 Northeast of Grove).
Area casinos have great entertainment this weekend, as well. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s live music both Friday and Saturday nights by The Sex. At Downstream Casino, it’s Country Music Festival Weekend at the Venue, with great featured bands both Friday & Saturday evenings. Gates open at 5:00. Shows start at 6:00. There’s also great music on tap in Legends Sports Bar Friday and Saturday nights, as well as softer sounds in the Lover’s Leap Lounge. At Bordertown Casino’s Lost Creek Saloon, the talented DeWayne Bowman will perform Friday night and Blane Howard will take over Saturday night. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar beginning with Runnin’ on Empty both Thursday and Friday nights; andAnother Alibi takes over the stage Saturday night. Centrefire will perform at Wyandotte Casino’s Club 60 Friday night – then things turn nasty. Saturday night is UFC fighting – Johnson vs. Dodson for the World Flyweight Championship! If comedy is your thing,Jeremy “Jer-dog” Danley will be on stage both Friday and Saturday nights at the Loony Saloon Comedy Club at The Stables Casino with special guest Kate Brindle.
The best spots to catch NFL, NCAA, PGA and NASCAR action are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina, Road Hog Saloon, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club, Pickles at the Lake in Langley and J.R. Spanky’s northeast of Grove. Enjoy!
BUM MUST-SEE TV: On Labor Day evening (Sept. 7) at 7:30, you can catch a preview of all the new CBS fall shows – CBS Fall Preview. Tuesday, September 8 is the premiere of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert – 10:30 p.m. on CBS.
BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Martha Betterfield’s Sweet Southern Attitude (encore showing Friday night at the Grove Cinema 6), A Walk in the Woods and The Transporter Refueled
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “I’ve created a new drink called the Trickle Down. The bartender takes your money, then gives a drink to the richest guy at the bar.” – John Fugelsang
SAVE THE DATE: Friday, September 4 – Labor Day Holiday Weekend Kicks off on Grand Lake! Saturday, September 5 – Redneck Yacht Club Raft-Up in the Tail Waters of Duck Creek. Sunday, September 6 – Woodard Hollow Raft-Up Party with live music from a band on Dr. Doug Cox’s dock. Monday, September 7 – Labor Day. Saturday, September 19 – REC Day at Grove Civic Center. Saturday, September 12 – Mahogany & Chrome Classic Boat Show at Arrowhead Yacht Club (10-4). Saturday, September 19 – PAAS Fundraising Poker Run, starts at PAAS in Vinita, then to Pickles, Iron Frog, Island Joe’s, and Road Hog (registration at 9:00 – last bike out at 11:00). Friday-Sunday, September 25-27 – Fall In-Water Boat Show at Shangri-La Marina.Saturday, September 26 – National Hook ‘N’ Cookoff at South Grand Lake Regional Airport. Saturday, September 26 – Member Appreciation Party at Shangri-La. Saturday, September 26 – Grove Grand Talent Contest at Har-Ber Village (show starts at 9:00 a.m. – Awards at 6:00 p.m.). Saturday, September 26 – A Taste of Grand. Saturday-Sunday, September 26-27 – Club Championship Tournament Play at Shangri-La. Friday, October 2 – Chippendales at J.R. Spanky’s. Sunday, October 4 – Jim Beam Folds of Honor Charity Golf Tournament at Shangri-La.
In the sports world, it’s time for some college football! It all gets underway Thursday night with three televised games including Oklahoma State at Central Michigan (6:00 on ESPNU). Friday night, Baylor is at SMU (6:00 on ESPN); and Saturday features a host of great games including BYU at Nebraska (2:30 on ABC), Florida Atlantic at Tulsa (2:30 on CBS Sports Network), UTEP at Arkansas (2:30 on ESPNU), Louisville at Auburn (2:30 on CBS), Arizona State at Texas A&M (6:00 on ESPN), Texas at Notre Dame (6:30 on NBC), and Wisconsin at Alabama (7:00 on ABC). OU hosts Akron for the season opener Saturday at 6:00, but the game is available only on pay-per-view. Purdue is at Marshall Sunday afternoon at 2:00 (Fox Sports 1) and the best game of the week is Monday night – Ohio State at Virginia Tech (7:00 on ESPN). Pre-season NFL football is in its final week, and all the games are Thursday night. Televised games are Tampa Bay at Miami (6:00) and San Diego at San Francisco (9:00), both on the NFL Network.
PGA players are competing in week #2 of the FedEx Cup Playoffs – and it’s a rare Friday-Monday Tournament. Coverage of The Deutsche Bank Championship begins on the Golf Channel at 1:30 Friday & Saturday, 11:00 Sunday and 10:30 a.m. Sunday. NBC picks up the final two rounds at 2:00 Sunday and 12:30 Monday. The NASCAR drivers are back in action this week, running Sunday night at Darlington. Coverage of the Bojangles Southern 500 begins at 6:00 on NBC.
The holiday weekend weather ahead looks perfect! Highs in the low 90s with nothing but sunshine until we get sunburned by about Sunday. Then we might have a few clouds to cool the burn. It looks like the perfect Grand Lake weekend! Remember, though - wherever you choose to party around the lake, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Book ‘ems at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chicken Coop in Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Iron Frog (Grove)
Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in Grove
Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sailboat Bridge
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrows Landing in Raper Hollow
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Book ‘ems Restaurant & Pub at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)