On behalf of permanent Grand Lake residents, I want to offer a heartfelt “thank you” to the tens of thousands of visitors who scattered a few million bucks around the lake last weekend, buying a few houses, a few boats, virtually all of the available food, most of the fuel, and a goodly portion of the in-stock liquor supplies. There were fabulous fireworks all over the lake – Wolf Creek to Duck Creek, Disney to Monkey Island. The airplane & skydiving shows were terrific and the crowds were both gigantic and well-behaved. Lots of folks didn’t understand why we don’t have giant restaurants & bars to accommodate them on the three days a year they visit, and, of course, there were a few of the inevitable jerks, drunks & vandals, but not bad considering the volume of visitors. We’ve decided to invite everybody back for Labor Day weekend! There’s no party place like Grand Lake!
As we move into the second half of summertime, boat dealers will be scattering across the country in the next few weeks, headed for dealer meetings to check out what will be new for 2015 in the marine market. If you’ve waited until now to buy your new boat, this is the time. Do it now before the certain 2015 price increase. I’ve adopted the same view toward adult beverages. You can’t ever tell when the prices might increase. I figure I’d better drink what I can while I can still afford it. My entertainment budget will never go further than it goes right now!
As you mark your list of “places I’d rather not live,” consider California where several cities are now being sued by a group called “California Reform Sex Offender Laws.” The group says the law that bans convicted sex offenders from coming within 2,000 feet of a school or park is “misguided and unconstitutional.” Personally, I think the biggest news out of this story is that there is actually an organization that advocates in support of sex offenders. I don’t think that group would last very long here.
The Atlantic magazine has a detailed story in the current issue, pointing out important studies that have been conducted as a result of 20 states legalizing marijuana in some form or another, and more states considering doing so every day. The study points out that marijuana is far less harmful than alcohol, but is not good for developing teenage brains. It concludes that marijuana should be legal, but should be very expensive to discourage teens from using it. Personally, I thought it was the fact that marijuana was NOT legal that made it so expensive; but I guess the scholars know best. The rest of us can use marijuana, and we’ll just keep the teenagers on the same booze products that have been building strong adolescent brains for decades.
Maybe they’re right, though. As the United States begins a new year enroute to next year’s 239thbirthday, there is great news from the medical community. Amid warnings against soda and fruit drinks because of their high sugar content, medical science has come up with a recommendation for a healthier drink – beer! The definitive study by Austria’s Dr. Stephan Domenig concludes that beer contains all of the vital amino acids. It’s also full of nutrients, high fiber, it’s low in sugar content and - ladies – it’s even good for your hair, applied either externally or internally. If you wait long enough, medical science always comes around to the correct conclusion. Most beverages are bad for you… but not beer.
We need to draft the sheriff in Marathon Key, Florida to run for office in the Grand Lake area. He is opposing a City Councilman’s effort to ban “open containers” of alcohol on the streets of Marathon, saying it’s “not worth the effort.” Couldn’t agree more. “Drink ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.” I’ve said for years, nothing causes more problems than threatening people who are walking around drinking to the point they are forced to hide in their cars to drink.
Here’s another great Grand Lake business idea for some entrepreneurial soul. The first offering was in Brooklyn, New York – butt facials. No, seriously. You can’t ever tell when your backside might develop and embarrassing appearance. In fact, the “Skin By Molly” salon in Brooklyn advertises that “Acne can flare up anywhere.” That’s why they are now offering the “Shiney Hiney” facial. $65. That might be a good business for me. It would bring new meaning to the phrase Grand Lake “Bum.”
Playing the system! My favorite “Florida Weird Happening of the Week” comes from Palm Harbor where 62-year-old Paul Stenstrom has lived comfortably in his home for 12 years without paying a single penny of the $1,836 monthly mortgage. Federal bankruptcy laws require creditors to back off of debtors for a time once they file bankruptcy. Stenstrom and his wife have played that little system by filing for bankruptcy 18 different times in the past 12 years. A judge finally cut them off and approved the foreclosure. However, Stenstrom is now thinking of buying his home back because of the reduced price (due to foreclosure), presumably using the $260,000 he has saved over the past 12 years by not paying his mortgage. Most people call this guy “deadbeat.” Another word might be “genius.”
GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Jaime Dobbins, Tami Wilson, Jon Wilson, Mike Aberle, Kelly Aberle, Kelly Whitehead, Bob Graper, Tina Tolleson, Judy Florida, John McFerron, Tev Brackin, and Melody Casper.
UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: If you carry a gun into a library, are you required to have a silencer?
BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: BOLT Fiber Optics Greater Grand Lake Open Golf Tournament Monday, July 14 at Shangri-La Golf Club (1:00 p.m.).
GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: It’s another great weekend of live musical entertainment upcoming on Grand Lake. On South Grand, Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina also has live entertainment Saturday night with Reverse Reaction on the Shark stage. Ugly’s Grill & Bar at Thunder Bay Marina will host Friday night “Float N Flick” with a movie on the water (listen to audio on your boat radio). Saturday night, there will be live music at Ugly’s.
On Monkey Island, there’s a great weekend of live entertainment at Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina with Sick, Sorry & Sober kicking the weekend off Friday and D.J. Ben Rottentaking over the stage with his fun show Saturday night, both at 8:30. Sunday afternoon, Randy Lunsford wraps up the weekend with relaxed music from 4-7 at Island Joe’s. At The Shebang, YOUare the entertainment, with Friday & Saturday karaoke fun on the Balcony Bar; and there’s always terrific weekend music and dancing with D.J. entertainment at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, Monkey Island Pub, and both D.J. fun and live music at the Road Hog Saloon.
Area casinos have great musical offerings this week, too. Friday night at Downstream’s Legends Sports Bar, Starr Fisher will be on stage at 8:00. The Jason Young Band will take the Legends stage with red dirt country music. After the hectic weekend, you can enjoy a relaxing Tuesdayevening with “America’s Got Talent” finalist The Milton Patton Acoustic Project from 8:00-10:00 p.m. in Legends. Great music starts Thursday night at Buffalo Brun Casino with The Bellamy Brothers in concert at Indoor Peoria Showplace at 7:00. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, Another Alibi will entertain both Friday and Saturday nights.
Four nights of weekend music start Wednesday with a performance by Scale House at Indigo Sky Casino’s Echo Bar. Thursday night, it’s the music of Mark Chamberlain and the Whiskey Poet Society. Area favorite Western Justice, take over Friday night duties, with Big Smitty on the Echo stage Saturday night.
The best spots to catch World Cup finals, NASCAR, baseball, and the weekend’s PGA golf battles are Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina, the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club, Aqua Bar & Grill at The Landings Marina, and JJ’s Wing ‘N’ It in Grove. Enjoy!
BUM MUST-SEE TV: Reckless Sunday nights at 8:00 on CBS.
BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: And So It Goes and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “I feel overworked and under-intoxicated.”
SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, July 17 – Oklahoma Legislative Golf Tournament at Shangri-La (sponsored by the Grand Lake Association). Friday, July 18 – Cigarette Fun Run out of Ugly John’s Thunder Bay marina. Friday-Saturdays July 18-26 – “The Man Who Ran” at Picture in Scripture Amphitheater, Disney. Saturday, July 19 – Aquapalooza (2:00 p.m.). Saturday-Sunday, July 19-20– Grand Lake Big Bass Bash, Wolf Creek in Grove. Saturday, August 9 – Pancake Fundraising Breakfast for Monkey Island Tornado Sirens (Shebang).
In the sports world, the weekend brings on the consolation game for 3rd place in World Cup competition Saturday (3:00 on ESPN) and the World Cup Final is Sunday (2:00 on ABC).
On the PGA Tour, there are two fabulous tournaments. It’s the John Deere Classic on the regular tour. Coverage on the Golf Channel gets underway at 2:00 Thursday & Friday and at noon Saturday& Sunday. CBS has the final two rounds of live coverage beginning at 2:00 Saturday and Sunday. It’s also Senior U.S. Open week, with action coming from Oak Tree National in Edmond, Oklahoma. Coverage begins Thursday-Friday Sunday at 3:00 on ESPN2. Weekend coverage isSaturday-Sunday at 1:30 on NBC.
NASCAR action moves to Sunday afternoon this week with the Camping World RV Sales 301. Coverage begins at noon Sunday on TNT. The best Major League Baseball on the TV schedule is Yankees at Orioles Sunday night at 7:00 on ESPN.
The post-holiday weekend weather forecast looks fantastic for the Grand Lake area. Gentle breezes, partly cloudy skies and high temperatures in the mid-90s all weekend long. It’s the perfect weekend to get on the water or on the golf course. Crowds after a major holiday weekend are always smaller. “Private Party Fun” everywhere you go – and there’s certainly no shortage of things to do and places to play. Wherever you decided to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lakearea? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at GrandLake.
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chicken Coop in Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Grand Lake Burrito in Ketchum
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lake Side Restaurant & Bar at Sailboat Bridge (formerly Royal Bay)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Iron Frog (Grove)
Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
J.J.’s Wing ‘N’ It in Downtown Grove
J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)
Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
Kelly’s Bar & Deli at Red Arrow Marina
La Casita de Martin in Grove
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Napoli’s Italian Restaurant (locations in Grove and Langley)
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Ozzie's on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Pattie’s Place Family Steakhouse at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Pensacola Pizza & Pasta in Langley (smoking on patio only)
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summerside Winery in Vinita
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Trail’s End Barbecue in Grove
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)
Your Place (Grove Main Street)